Self Analysis
Daughter,sister and aunt
Woman
Friend
Team Leader
Student
I am Mary Edeza D. De Leon- 23 years old, 3rd of 7 siblings, eldest daughter of Alteza and Edgardo De Leon. I don’t remember much about my childhood and I don’t live in it so allow me start at the present time. I was a Customer Service representative who promoted after a year as Team Leader/ Supervisor at Teletech Sta Rosa and I’m an employee there for almost 3 years now. I used to work in Makati for the same industry. And now, I went back to school after 5 years, shifting from BS Nursing to BS Psychology.
My definining moment or some call it turning point was when out of foolishness of being young, lack of guidance and support, I stow away from home when I tried so many times to tell my parents that I want to shift from Nursing to Journalism and they won’t allow me, what job will I get out of it? Will that take me abroad? And since my grandmother was the one paying for my tuition. I don’t have the liberty to choose what path to take- Otherwise, I have to pay for my own tuition fee.
I went away for a month and came back home to try and talk to them again. My grandmother was dissapointed, my parents were dead worried and I have no idea what will happen next. It’s when I turned to God which is very typical of us- we only turn to him when we’ve exhausted all options we know to solve our problems or to get away with it.
In the end, I knew I had to face it so I can get through it. I applied for a job in a fast food chain where I worked as a Party host- I almost got regularized but my grandmother gave me another chance. Which, thinking about it now, I should’ve taken more wisely but instead I was in a hurry. I’ve always been in a hurry, I always feel like I don’t have much time left. I wanted to achieve so much that if you mix lack of plan and poor execution, it always lead to disaster.
I took Medical transcription, I don’t know what happened. It was a total waste of money and time when you look at the practical side of it; I wasn’t able to practice it, I don’t have proof or certificate. However, I always believed that I may not be capable to pay my own tuition fee at that time, I experienced everything first hand and that is Education at its best and I promised myself to welcome every learning opportunity with open arms.
Through the Medtrans short course I was able to connect through Poets from UP Diliman, got to know people and learn from them. That’s Education for free but it doesn’t give me a proof that I can show employers, my family and even myself that I can. There’s still something missing.
I worked as a Production Assistant in an indie film production where I got exposed to the world of film making in its rawest form. I loved being part of it and I will always go back to it if given a chance. After that I joined LIRA (Linangan ng Imahe, Retorka at Anyo), a Filipino poetry workshop held in UP Diliman, founded by National Artist Rio Alma.
Those were the highlights of my far fetched writing career but it seems real. It felt near… So near that I can almost smell it. Until reality strikes. I needed money to continue with the workshop. I need to get a job because no one would give me money without sermon and shoving my mistakes right off of my face.
The next day, I applied for a job I saw online posted as: Gallery Attendant, sounds fun and new to me, I got hired and there I was touring a group of people, students and executives around SM Science Discovery Center where I stayed for 4 months. Yet again, when I was about to get regularized, a colleague of mine notices the way I speak, tone and diction and told me that I could pass a call center agent. It’s like some force is telling me not to settle for less.
I have very low self esteem at that time since I have high regard for education. I feel that I couldn’t compete with those who have degree but I tried anyway, we applied together. After a whole day of exam, interview and waiting. Finally, I got hired and he didn’t. I felt so bad knowing that my friend who speaks confidently and better english than I am, the company I got hired for is one of the top BPO company at the time – PeopleSupport in Makati and I got hired. I mean how cool is that? Getting hired made me feel good about myself.
That experience totally changed the way I understand, see and evaluate myself. I knew then that I have something, I am something- though I’m not sure what or who yet.
Call center industry taught me a lot about life; how to interact with different types of people, no matter what demographic, age, culture, educational background one has. It gave me self confidence I never knew I’ll have since I’m an undergraduate. It made me feel capable of doing and part of something bigger than myself. It showed me life at its truest, rawest, harshest view.
After 2 years and 4 months I went back here in Laguna and applied in Teletech where I got hired. I was an agent who only thinks about saving enough money to finish my studies- the one required and acceptable by society. My intention was never to fit in but to change my attitude about Education itself because we live in a third world country. It’s not like US where you don’t necessarily need to have degree to be what you want to be. And since I can’t do that here, I’ll have to conform to it. Just to satisfy its basic requirement.
However, in this very diverse career environment. Where nothing is permanent, where eveyrthing changes almost every 5 minutes. I was trained, molded and influenced by the only constant thing in my life as an agent- My TL Jerard Joson who unselfishly taught me everything he knows about Leadership. That changed my whole perspective about work, about my goals, about my dreams and life.
I know until now that I still want to be a writer but since I don’t have the diploma yet to prove that I am, I get as much experience as I can to broaden my vocabulary, reference, influence, inspiration and motivation to become a writer worth reading.
I’m still not that confident because I can’t be too confident, that’s one of the things that I try to control so success won’t get to my head and prevent me from being open to learning. But I know now what I’m capable of doing, what my limitations are, I know myself better now. I compare myself to others in a positive way to help me improve, I always get feedback from others to see myself in a different view. I have a good sense of self worth, perception and concept that’s why people at work especially my agents trusts and respects me and it makes all the experiences, whether good or bad worth it.
